Don't look back the Anger

I'm all soaked by sweat as i just cycling around my neighbourhood.Gosh,after long break,my muscle is achin everywhere.My hands is dirty and my pants too,gosh i look like a labour.
Anywhere, 4 those who read my blog.thanks for your concern.I''ll be okie.I know the situation is do not favour me and our love is on the edge of breaking up,but hey,i'm Alvin, i ain't gonna give til that very last chance.As long i got breath and stamina, i will fight until the end!!
Sometimes, you need to look forward and dont look back.Your back is full of anger,disappoinment and loads of negative stuff.Look straight ahead.I know is tough,but who knows that end of it,is a paradise.Just try.It won';t harm you.

Too Strong For too loNg

Too strong for too long (and I can’t be without you baby)And I’ll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can’t sleep without you baby)Anybody who’s ever loved, ya know just what I feelToo hard to fake it, nothing can replace itCall the radio if you just can’t be without your baby..This mary J's song is simply awesome..
Gosh,it gonna be 1 month after this partial separatin but i still can't get through.Maybe my relation was initially awesome and totally perfect.We don;t have any problem.So,when problem comes, we were not prepared to deal the problem,so ended up like this.So,now hope and pray!

Is not worth oF trying?

Sometimes things are not meant to be just let it be.I know the problem is there and no solution for it.But can we dun take the worst result and try our best to get the best result.Don' t tell me is not worth of trying.
Not only love related problem, but other aspect in life too.Sometimes, things will not going your way and you will not always get what u hope for, especially for me.You just got to move along to make it through.Don't get yourself into regret,it is very very painful,just forget it and things will be okie.I don't have any idea why i blog this stuff.Yeah,i do regret sometimes liek not following my loved one to work,now ended up liek this but hey,i'm not sit at home to mourn ,i'll try my best to work it out.Sadly,but the person is already no mood for now but i hope not for the future as time is limited.Sigh....I'm not sure is it a curse on me.I will never be travelling with my loved, no sea side walking for me, no breathtaking sunset for me .Really hope to travel with you someday.Though those "no's" are in just my mind and cruelly lingering but in my heart,there still got hope glittering,it still havent died.

soMething that beTter not to be solVEd

Sometimes, when a problem is really hard to solve,you just let it be and try to not to recur the problem again, the problem is forgotten and is already solved.Yeah,it may sound immature or impractical but things get so complicated,you just let it be.
However, it just partly work 4 me.Well,today i finally met her after 2 long months.The result is that i dun even have a word to describe it.Initially,it didnt work well as we met,we even didnt have a word.Then,we started to chat about our problem,even worse, the war of words started again.Then,we into non love topic.Things got pretty well and got even joked around.Sadly,we backed to our love topic again and again, yeah again argument followed.Goodness,before i went home,we finally chat about non love topic again..yeha joking around again and even took pics!!Bizarre huh?
Hope to see you longer but the time is not that really forgiven.So, i shall meet u next week ,HOR?Just wish you have a peaceful thinking.You're the one that i want to be life partner but i hope we could get back the feeling again cause you're great 4 me,used to,not now but soon wil be again and will be forever..

On the other hand, a friend of mine puzzled me with this question: Hey,alvin, you not the same alvin i know.Last time you were problem free and cracking jokes a lot...Yeah,sadly i guess myself not that funny anymore.Well,people grow older,the problems also grow along.I hope i can be the old Alvin....sigh...

Days gone By but Nothing in the end

sigh...room cleaning almost week,make sure there 's not even a dust as i know she afraid and sensitive of it. Get an extra blanket as i afraid she might get cold.Bought listerine to get rid of bad breath.Bought apple yogurt as her favourite.Preparing the route and hot spots for our vacation in Cameron.Browse the old books for her studies in form six.Even online book a room in kl 4 our holidays.Bought a nice gigantic coca-cola lamp 2 enhance the bedroom.Planned the whereabouts for restaurants and coffee shop 2 have finest cuisine..but in the end, only me alone sitting on the bed,looking through the walls,the white empty walls.My only companion,is only my shadow.I really a loser now walking on this boulevard of broken dreams,my shadow who only walk beside me...Sleeping alone,without anyone beside me...
You will never know how disappointin i am.I look to your pics,u had enjoyable times with your friends,when is our turn to take pictures together?Why are the promises broken?Now i'm just a loser and loner who waiting his lover to come and visit but time ticking very fast..if too late then,i will be away far far away from you..Why i will never enjoy a holidays with my lover?.why...
By the way,though i'm super sad, but still got friends who really concern me though just a sms.Really appreaciate it.You guys rock!!!

Days gone By but Nothing in the end

sigh...room cleaning almost week,make sure there 's not even a dust as i know she afraid and sensitive of it. Get an extra blanket as i afraid she might get cold.Bought listerine to get rid of bad breath.Bought apple yogurt as her favourite.Preparing the route and hot spots for our vacation in Cameron.Browse the old books for her studies in form six.Even online book a room in kl 4 our holidays.Bought a nice gigantic coca-cola lamp 2 enhance the bedroom.Planned the restaurants and coffee shop 2 eat finest cuisine..but in the end, only me alone sitting on the bed,looking through the walls,the white empty walls.My only companion,is only my shadow.I really a loser now walking on this boulevard of broken dreams,my shadow who only walk beside me...Sleeping alone,without anyone beside me...
You will never know how disappointin i am.I look to your pics,u had enjoyable times with your friends,when is our turn to take pictures together?Why are the promises broken?Now i'm just a loser and loner who waiting his lover to come and visit but time ticking very fast..if too late then,i will be away far far away from you..Why i will never enjoy a holidays with my lover?.why...
By the way,though i'm super sad, but still got friends who really concern me though just a sms.Really appreaciate it.You guys rock!!!

Mind Trick

So i finally came to a situation which guessing games whatyour lover thinking?is she still loves me?Is this end of everything?I hope not.But this mind game thing is killing me as though i'm not a person who see the time past us by.But for you, i will wait.The so called honey moon things?Though i'm so called student who finished my pre u,but ireally cant find a words to describe my feeling now.Sadness,loneliness,sorrow,disappointment,hurt and the list go on..and these sort of feeling just compacted in my brain and heart,this is really killing me.However, though,the hope will never goes away.I still confident that your love will come back to me some day,perhaps...soon...
By the way,Ace is out.Go elliot and Taylor!!

everything i know had Let me down

So today ,i had been queer eyes for the straight girls for the whole day..Choosing the best dress ,shoes...4 my friend but deep down in my heart and end of the day,i still worry and miss my dear.
These few days, things are litter better but days after days the chance to spend some time with her is slowly fade away.Dude,i putting my effort and my hope in to this so called honeymoon ,but shoudlnt b called honey moon since before i my exam.I wouldnt mind to wait for you but time is tickin very fast...1 weeks or just 4 days i wouldnt mind,i really wish could be with you and spend time with you before you off 4 studies..after we goig 4 our studies,we would hardly see each other..i really don't want to miss a thing..
Sigh..is very cruel world indeed,now is night and raining heavily,the radio is playing 'i can't live' by mariah.I CANT LIVE WITHOUT you....This is too sad for me too handle.I swith off the radio,look out through window..sigh..it just worst.The lonely dark lake is and its surface is speared by raindrops just like my heart speared and torn.A hundred days have made me olderSince the last time that I saw your pretty face.All the miles that separateDisappear now when I'm dreamin' of your faceI'm here without you babyBut you're still on my lonely mind.Everything I know, and anywhere I goIt gets hard but it won't take away my loveAnd when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.It gets hard but it won't take away my love.I'm here without you babyBut you're still on my lonely mindI think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you babyBut you're still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight girl, there's only you and me

Where is the moment we need at the most

Everything i know had let me down.So,i will just let go?Of coz no.I will never as i still got faith.Though it left one more step 2 breakin up but hey,i'm sure time wil heal our scars.But i really do hope that i could spend quality times with you before you heading for your studies.We miss a lot of moment..we lost half year which we could really spend times together and if i were workin with you..the result won't be turn this way...Just keep my fingers crossed..I know you became a stronger person but use it wisely.Don't throw your love away.I don't want anyone and i wont find anyone 2 replace you as you are the one that i want.You like a piece of puzzle in my life.Without you,this beautiful puzzle will never ever be completed...I hope i can be the last bf 4 u.I know we have many scars now but i hope it will be healed sooner or later......You take good care.Is rainy season, put your blanket on before you sleep.Do not eat too much spicy or hot stuff as you easily get acne.Drink more water..Be careful what ever you do and cherish people around you.... below is an old song..it really tells my feeling

Lay a whisper on my pillow,leave the winter on the ground.I wake up lonely,there's air of silence in the bedroom and all around.Touch me now,I close my eyes and dream away.It must have been love but it's over now. It must have been good but I lost it somehow. It must have been love but it's over now. From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out. Make-believing we're together, that I'm sheltered by your heart. But in and outside I've turned to water like a teardrop in your palm. And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away. It must have been love but it's over now, it was all that I wanted, now I'm living without. It must have been love but it's over now, it's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows.

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1. IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE

video code provided by singingfool.com

Little bit of progress but the heart still eclipsed

Yesterday,things a quite ok a bit as she wished me good night and sleep early too.However,she is not what she used to be now.The passion,concern and love are eclipsed but not gone.So, our relation is awkward blended by confusion..so if got people asked how's my relationship going on..i have no idea what to answer you, still in cold zone but hopefully things will going to our way and the love will come back to us.I will wait 4 you.
Anywhere,i may look a guy who can't survive without love.Yes,i do.However, i do not need a person who always talk lovey-dovey all the time.I need someone who really can be my companion to walk this long and winding path of life,to give me support,to be my pillow when i'm down..i just want a personho really share and walk wit me.I need not a person who always need to see each other but hopefully can be there for me.
I'm kinda guy who look for quality in sense of character and obviously looks..so whit my this fussy kinda attitude,is really hard for me to find the one.I found one but now..she still cold to me.But anywhere,i wait for you...

every cloud has a silver lining

By the way,thanks to the person in my class' friendster.yeah,thats the words people telling me.I know but it is hard for me..Pain deep down in my heart.For my dear, i really regret .I know my words are your ignorance for you know but..i really regret and sorry.Please don't ignore me...=<
I know it's only half a year,
That you will be away,
But it will feel far more than that,
Each long and lonely day.
A day without you is like
A meadow turned to sand,
A garden turned to weeds and dust,
An ocean far from land.
time enters a slow motion zone,
Repeatin endlessly,
The tearful grimace of the heart
Til you return to me

Almost one week....is better but still......

Yeah, my dear said temporart separation almost 1 week.The situation now is little better as she start sms me and answer my call but we still on the verge of breaking up.I think it won't happen to us as i still got faith in me and in this relationship.I know the possibility is low and i don't stand the much chance but i wont give up no matter what it takes.Now i only found what song it suits my feeling right now..gareth gates though i never listen to his song but it really tells my feeling..
Say it isnt so..tell me you're not living,say your change your mind now and i only dreaming..this is not good bye but it is starting over,if you wanna know..i will never let you go....

We belong together

Never thought that this around this time last year,i had a disaster in love.Same it goes with this year.Yeah, i'm sorta temporary separated with my lover right now.Yeah,no more those honeymoon stuff.Nobody will know how i feel right now.I'm trying to be mr brightside but sigh..the matter of fact is does not favor me,it is negative.
Since he gone for work somewhere far,i really not being supportive.Threw cold water.I'm sorry.We have fighted a lots for no reason.I know u given me a lot of chance til the very last chance i also just let it go.I'm very very regret.I know what you trying 2 say now but it is too late for you.I know i'm not worth of another chance.But i really can't let you go.We had gone through many many obstacles...from being strong in long distance relationship,from being targeted by those separated,from being hiding from our relationship.Dude, we had lot of great and sweet memories 2gether.Dear,we only left few days,y cant u hold strong to your sweet memories and let it go.I don;t know what u thinking right now but i hope u g\doing fine there and really calm urself down.I know u r independent and no need any one 2 walk to your path of your life but let me be the one who walk behind of you and if you fall i still manage to catch you.I still need you.I don't want to see you to get another guy and hurt you...i really don't want to see that happen.Let me the last bf 4 you.I know i loaded with bad attitudes that made you frusrated but i'm learning.The time right now is very very important lesson to me.I'm sorry dear.....you know since you said separated with me ,my mind just got this song...Maybe my love will come back someday,only heaven knows and all i can do is pray cause heaven knows
By the way, thanks all the concern from my friends.Thank you.Now i only know that i dun have many close friends in ipoh,all of them in kl,pg and Aus...sigh..if u anyone of you in ipoh,just call me out...and i hope you guys will wish me the best of luck that my love will be ok?

HopeLess 994

Yesterday was a shocking day for my family but not for me.My neighbour's house just got burnt.I was not at home at the time of the incident.Goodness,nobody was harm and what was gone is the furniture and television set and the whole living room.What was suprising was the role of the fire fighters.According to my another neighbour,she already contact the fire fighters after she saw the fire.fine,they didnt turn up.After the fire was put off by my neighbours, we stil couldnt see thier nose.So we contact them again,what they said was,if the fire already put off,we wont care anymore,call the TNb for safety of the electricity.
Tis call towards a developed nation???i'm sure there is no gemilang and terbilang with this tidak apa of service.

move Along

Just 4 days away to the D-day but the anticipation is slowly faded away.Not sure what happened to both of us.It just simply devastating..hope everything will be fine.I really sad that our relation is like on the verge of breaking up.On monday will cure everyting.
Lately it just mourning days for me as i really had a bad days and worry about my current relationship.Sometimes i just wanna put aside about this but i really can't do it.Maybe i really too indulge of it.Apart of that, from last week onwards,i was crzy about fly fm's mash for cash.Yeah,i'm broke,i really wanna some alternative way to fulfill my wallets.It just two more songs to go, it is really realy hard to get to listen the the two remaining songs.God ,help me!!
On other hand,yesterday before i sleep,i read an article about Daniel Lee.He lament that he lost the goal for the future and getting tired of this celebrity lifestyle.OoOO..wat happened to this idol, i won't let my 50 cent go to vain.I don't know what to say but just be yourself , you no need to be fake like politicians.Dude,politicians are the most fake people around.Just true to yourself as many people adoring you and taken you as a role model.No celebrity is 100 % perfect and noble.So,just be yourself.I guess your fan will accept your good and bad side of you.Talking about goal and future.It just matter of time.Life is full of levels,you have reached quite good level,why not try to enter HK or Taiwan market,i'm sure you will doing great.

Really bad day

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1. BAD DAY

video code provided by singingfool.com

April Fool

So fast we come to the month of April.Which means that it just days a way to my own sweet holidays though yet still no idea where we heading to.
Lately, i really had a bad days.first of all,i lost my sandals.For crying out loud, my shoe it just merely RM 10,i have no idea what really happened to the people nowadays, a cheap sandals even got people stole it.On top of that,i don't know when and how, the back of my car was hit by some one.Damn, really have a bad days.
But every dark clouds have silver lining.On Friday,i was in the cc to update my uni application stuff as the Aprill Fool was the last day for that stuff.So i done my updating around 1045.What reall pised me off was the website was still jammed.It was like time bomb as i really scare that after 12 ,the website still jammed and my updated application will be useless.Thank God,i can get through almost 12 am.
On other matter, i visited my grand dad's crematorium for the chinese all soul's day.Yeah,as always i was chocked by the smoke .Same thing,burning paper made items.I'm not being rude,but are those departed really accepting those stuff in another world?But another way around, it also a mark of respect for the departed.For me, we have or ought to treat people around us with love and care before is too late.